the jane

next exit
Sunday, February 27, 2005

i applaud photographers who can take beautiful portraits.. the photographer/subject relationship is still something i'm trying to obtain and be confident about. i need to find me a muse.. or man-muse..

on another note, i'm sooo tired of making decisions. sometimes it's so frustrating making all the fucking decisions to all the small things in life. i can't wait till this term is over..

.........................................................................................................

ugh
Thursday, February 17, 2005

my roll of color film that has photos from The Gates is missing.. I think it got knocked into my garbage can, which has already been thrown out. I am hating myself now.. hating everything. There were some images on that roll that I really wanted.. whether it was aestetically good or not, it just contained moments I wanted to keep. There was this image of a father holding his baby daughter up to the saffron gates.. and that image was the most important to me on that roll..

I pray that it's somewhere and I'll find it.

i'm crying over this too, it's insane..

EDIT:
so I thought about how shitty my mood was and the cry was much needed. It's also been the stress I've been putting on myself w/ this Time Arts project.. that basically threw me into a whirlwind of negative emotions.

I found it amazing that I was crying over a roll of film. It made me realize that art is so important in my life that I definitely cant do anything else for my life. I remember in JHS when I was soo unsure about what HS I was gonna go to. I wanted to get into the smart schools and be the daughter that my mom always wanted; working at a bank and such.. but she's happy w/ this daughter being all poor and artsified. I like having the freedom that art comes with.. and the possibilities of change, risks, and the determination to be happy with your work.

I still havent found my roll of film..I'll miss it and unconsciously think of it but for now, I'll have to go on w/ my exciting life at Syracuse. sooo exciting.

damn long posts nowadays.

.........................................................................................................

blurb

i fancy boys who dont fancy me. fancy boys who fancy me, i dont fancy.
slim pickings when it comes to fancying.

.........................................................................................................

wat up, ducks?

IMG_4247, originally uploaded by thejane.

one of the few digital shots i took last saturday @ central park. fun, ducks!

.........................................................................................................

the gates
Monday, February 14, 2005

I really enjoyed my weekend at home. Saw my family, got money, ate really good food, went to Central Park and walked over 60 blocks.. basically 80% of the park. Some people didnt see it as a big deal but I really enjoyed the installation. I started on 103rd street and walked down, west to east, east to west.. and at one point, walked a semi-circle around the Great Lawn. There were lots of families with dogs and kids, there were them indie NYU Tisch kids, there were the 100s of photographers, there were reporters, there were videographers, etc. It was really awesome to see that this united so many NYorkers together, as corny as that sounds. Tons of smiles, tons of happy kids and dogs. People were extremely friendly to my sister and I.. hell, an ad for the United Colors of Bennetton family asked us to take pics of them..haha. When we were done looking at the massive flowing 'saffron' gates, we exited to find us some grub. I was really surprised when we exited that it was 58th street.. It seemed like our stroll was shorter but heck it was fun. We even got mini souvenirs; a piece of the 'saffron' gates.. No, I did not bring a pair of scissors and cut a piece, the volunteers had them and were giving them out. lovely.

.........................................................................................................

hmm
Wednesday, February 09, 2005

i would never have imagined that IM messages, facebook messages, and xanga replies will make someone happy on the anniversary of birth. it was nice, i admit.. to receive all these messages and phonecalls.

gonna take full advantage of this Darkroom job.. so many benefits, it's insane. free classes, free use of facilities, awesome staff. i love the job :D

.........................................................................................................

rock bottom
Sunday, February 06, 2005

originality is hard to obtain especially since i've been zoning out into space every minute.. i have a love/hate relationship with being a hermit and the damn internet. I can't seem to function without the internet but it also creates all this unneccessary problems that fucks up my little brain.. chemical imbalance, maybe

blogger, xanga, real concrete journal.. so many ways to express my thoughts.. some for entertainment, some for personal keepsakes to stop myself from going berserk, and some to sound like a pretentious fucking indie piece of shit. hmm.. labels piss me off. and lack of originality sends me straight to evil thoughts. lovely.

this is not depression. i refuse to suffice to that thinking process of how sucky my life is. i believe it's the ups and downs in life that keep reality real. i don't believe in feeling pity for myself because i create my own problems.. just fix it, you dumb fuck and stop complaining.

i dont know why i'm so angered.. maybe because i'm stuck here for my birthday and not with my family. i'd like to forget that it's my birthday tomorrow, seriously. i'm also tired of feeling like the only one without any psychological depressing problems. it bothers me that i'm usually the person without any problems 'cause sometimes it comes off as cocky..

well, this is one big post of contradictions to say the least.

.........................................................................................................

geek alert
Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Well, I haven't updated this photoblog in awhile. Sorry.. dont know to who but sorry, mr. bloggy blog poo. I shall attack the negative and slide scanners this weekend and upload some doozies. I'm a retard for using such dumb,pathetic words but forgive me.. I am in a manic panic to get out of Syracuse.

Transferring is just a fantasy and will most likely not happen.. just in my daily daydreams. I've come to accept the rich bitches who bow to my wisdom to help them with Macs yet give me no thanks in return.. I've come to accept the fact that I'm not the only one who came to Syracuse because they gave us the most financial aid. I've come to accept the fact that I have a problem being social but no problem being sarcastic. Sometimes the two don't mix and well, ladies and gents, that is a problem. I've come to accept that fact that job hunting is a bitch especially finding a job just for the money and not the experience. Clerical work? come on.. I just wish my job at Light Work included more hours and days. I'd rather be there than in my room, bored as hell, and procrastinating up a storm.

That's my favorite photo I have with my sweet Grandma. oh nostalgia, how I love thee!

.........................................................................................................

About

Jane Tam has moved to a different domain. Please forward your links to http://janetam.com. Jane is a 21 year old Photography student placed in Syracuse University but originally from New York City. She enjoys all sorts of music but you can classify her as the stereotypical indie kid. Slightly offensive and bitter sometimes, this blog is a place to vent frustrations but also a blog to display current photo/art projects as well as encourage new talent from music to art to films; basically whatever tickles Jane's fancy.

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next exit Sunday, February 27, 2005 i applaud photographers who can take beautiful portraits.. the photographer/subject relationship is still something i'm trying to obtain and be confident about. i need to find me a muse.. or man-muse.. on another note, i'm sooo tired of making decisions. sometimes it's so frustrating making all the fucking decisions to all the small things in life. i can't wait till this term is over.. posted by Jane Tam at 5:45 PM 0 comments ......................................................................................................... ugh Thursday, February 17, 2005 my roll of color film that has photos from The Gates is missing.. I think it got knocked into my garbage can, which has already been thrown out. I am hating myself now.. hating everything. There were some images on that roll that I really wanted.. whether it was aestetically good or not, it just contained moments I wanted to keep. There was this image of a father holding his baby daughter up to the saffron gates.. and that image was the most important to me on that roll.. I pray that it's somewhere and I'll find it. i'm crying over this too, it's insane.. EDIT: so I thought about how shitty my mood was and the cry was much needed. It's also been the stress I've been putting on myself w/ this Time Arts project.. that basically threw me into a whirlwind of negative emotions. I found it amazing that I was crying over a roll of film. It made me realize that art is so important in my life that I definitely cant do anything else for my life. I remember in JHS when I was soo unsure about what HS I was gonna go to. I wanted to get into the smart schools and be the daughter that my mom always wanted; working at a bank and such.. but she's happy w/ this daughter being all poor and artsified. I like having the freedom that art comes with.. and the possibilities of change, risks, and the determination to be happy with your work. I still havent found my roll of film..I'll miss it and unconsciously think of it but for now, I'll have to go on w/ my exciting life at Syracuse. sooo exciting. damn long posts nowadays. posted by Jane Tam at 11:47 PM 0 comments ......................................................................................................... blurb i fancy boys who dont fancy me. fancy boys who fancy me, i dont fancy. slim pickings when it comes to fancying. posted by Jane Tam at 5:21 PM 0 comments ......................................................................................................... wat up, ducks? IMG_4247, originally uploaded by thejane. one of the few digital shots i took last saturday @ central park. fun, ducks! posted by Jane Tam at 12:23 AM 0 comments ......................................................................................................... the gates Monday, February 14, 2005 I really enjoyed my weekend at home. Saw my family, got money, ate really good food, went to Central Park and walked over 60 blocks.. basically 80% of the park. Some people didnt see it as a big deal but I really enjoyed the installation. I started on 103rd street and walked down, west to east, east to west.. and at one point, walked a semi-circle around the Great Lawn. There were lots of families with dogs and kids, there were them indie NYU Tisch kids, there were the 100s of photographers, there were reporters, there were videographers, etc. It was really awesome to see that this united so many NYorkers together, as corny as that sounds. Tons of smiles, tons of happy kids and dogs. People were extremely friendly to my sister and I.. hell, an ad for the United Colors of Bennetton family asked us to take pics of them..haha. When we were done looking at the massive flowing 'saffron' gates, we exited to find us some grub. I was really surprised when we exited that it was 58th street.. It seemed like our stroll was shorter but heck it was fun. We even got mini souvenirs; a piece of the 'saffron' gates.. No, I did not bring a pair of scissors and cut a piece, the volunteers had them and were giving them out. lovely. posted by Jane Tam at 10:36 PM 0 comments ......................................................................................................... hmm Wednesday, February 09, 2005 i would never have imagined that IM messages, facebook messages, and xanga replies will make someone happy on the anniversary of birth. it was nice, i admit.. to receive all these messages and phonecalls. gonna take full advantage of this Darkroom job.. so many benefits, it's insane. free classes, free use of facilities, awesome staff. i love the job :D posted by Jane Tam at 7:45 PM 1 comments ......................................................................................................... rock bottom Sunday, February 06, 2005 originality is hard to obtain especially since i've been zoning out into space every minute.. i have a love/hate relationship with being a hermit and the damn internet. I can't seem to function without the internet but it also creates all this unneccessary problems that fucks up my little brain.. chemical imbalance, maybe blogger, xanga, real concrete journal.. so many ways to express my thoughts.. some for entertainment, some for personal keepsakes to stop myself from going berserk, and some to sound like a pretentious fucking indie piece of shit. hmm.. labels piss me off. and lack of originality sends me straight to evil thoughts. lovely. this is not depression. i refuse to suffice to that thinking process of how sucky my life is. i believe it's the ups and downs in life that keep reality real. i don't believe in feeling pity for myself because i create my own problems.. just fix it, you dumb fuck and stop complaining. i dont know why i'm so angered.. maybe because i'm stuck here for my birthday and not with my family. i'd like to forget that it's my birthday tomorrow, seriously. i'm also tired of feeling like the only one without any psychological depressing problems. it bothers me that i'm usually the person without any problems 'cause sometimes it comes off as cocky.. well, this is one big post of contradictions to say the least. posted by Jane Tam at 4:59 PM 0 comments ......................................................................................................... geek alert Wednesday, February 02, 2005 Well, I haven't updated this photoblog in awhile. Sorry.. dont know to who but sorry, mr. bloggy blog poo. I shall attack the negative and slide scanners this weekend and upload some doozies. I'm a retard for using such dumb,pathetic words but forgive me.. I am in a manic panic to get out of Syracuse. Transferring is just a fantasy and will most likely not happen.. just in my daily daydreams. I've come to accept the rich bitches who bow to my wisdom to help them with Macs yet give me no thanks in return.. I've come to accept the fact that I'm not the only one who came to Syracuse because they gave us the most financial aid. I've come to accept the fact that I have a problem being social but no problem being sarcastic. Sometimes the two don't mix and well, ladies and gents, that is a problem. I've come to accept that fact that job hunting is a bitch especially finding a job just for the money and not the experience. Clerical work? come on.. I just wish my job at Light Work included more hours and days. I'd rather be there than in my room, bored as hell, and procrastinating up a storm. That's my favorite photo I have with my sweet Grandma. oh nostalgia, how I love thee! posted by Jane Tam at 5:25 PM 0 comments .........................................................................................................					About Jane Tam has moved to a different domain. Please forward your links to http://janetam.com. Jane is a 21 year old Photography student placed in Syracuse University but originally from New York City. She enjoys all sorts of music but you can classify her as the stereotypical indie kid. Slightly offensive and bitter sometimes, this blog is a place to vent frustrations but also a blog to display current photo/art projects as well as encourage new talent from music to art to films; basically whatever tickles Jane's fancy. Archives 12/2004 01/2005 02/2005 03/2005 04/2005 05/2005 06/2005 07/2005 08/2005 09/2005 10/2005 11/2005 12/2005 01/2006 02/2006 03/2006 04/2006 05/2006 06/2006 07/2006 08/2006 09/2006 10/2006 11/2006 12/2006 01/2007 02/2007 03/2007 04/2007 05/2007 06/2007 08/2007 09/2007 10/2007 11/2007 www.flickr.com This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from thejane. Make your own badge here.